metal detecting humor

Free Metal Detecting Tips

Coaxing coins from an iron laden sand pile
Author: Internet Tip
With the Minelab Sovereign or other dectector, scrub the surface slowly centering over each null in discriminate. If the sound will chirp at all nextto the iron object, it's likely to be a coin. Even though you can't get the pitch to go up to the same height with each pass it's still a target worth investigating. Sometimes the iron is so thick that the coin will only give a single burp like sound from the null area, but its still a clue that you should listen for. My personal experience: A wet January 3 yrs ago, at Laguna Beach, Calif., on the wooden boardwalk area adjacent to the main beach, construction crews had started a 700 ft. reconstruction project. In 50 ft. sections over the next 6 weeks, all the lumber decking was repaired or replaced. Rusted bolts and washers were torched off by the hundreds, lumber removed, and sand was shoveled out from beneath the deck walkway to get the moisture level down about 3 ft . lower. A sand pile soon accumulated on the beach paralleling the construction site. During summer months, this area is usually jammed with people sitting along the raised edge of the boardwalk , watching the volleyball tournaments in front of them on the beach. The local detectorists sampled the growing sand pile with their pulse machines but quickly gave up because of the abundant iron. I patiently worked the site for 22 nightly visits of two to three hours each time over the next month and a half. I even raked down the pile in stages with a hoe that I modified with a 24" wide aluminum blade. Total take was over 3,000 coins from that site, including 5 rings, numerous pocket knives, a few bracelets, and several 5 gl. buckets of trash. A few of the silver coins dated back to the 1880's, but most all of the others were clads. Even so, it was enough to pay for another new detector. (Part if of the pile I ended up screening because Iwas getting 6 or 7 coins per shovel full)
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I'll never forget the first time I swung a metal detector and it BEEPED! I dug up my treasure and I held that shiny circle of metal in my hand--a quarter!! Wow! A whole twenty-five cents! Since then I have treasured hunted all over the world. This site has info on metal detecting humor and hopefully anything else you need to know about metal detecting, treasure hunting, and finding gold!

Good luck!

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The Ley Lines of a Semi-Retired Drainage System
Author: Holmes Charnley
There seems to be at times, a fine line between enthusiasm and frenzied delight, and with Miranda Krestovnikoff, who presents BBC 2’s Hidden Treasure, that line is all too frequently blurred.

Still, perhaps I’m being a little too hard on the poor girl. After all, it’s her enthusiasm that caused me to go out the other day and buy a metal detector. I’d like to think that I’m the only one to have done this, at least in my town, but regrettably, I suspect I’m in the majority…

After all, I went into one of the local shops on the day of purchase, asking if they did indeed sell metal detectors, and this young man serving behind the counter immediately asked if I’d been watching BBC 2 recently. I didn’t know how to take this. Now obviously, he’d sussed me but … well, was that good manners on his part, or just cheeky perception?

I mean, had I gone into my local branch of M & S and been caught perusing the boxer shorts, I think I’d have taken umbrage, had a shop assistant inquired if I’d recently had a case of the runs. I digress. Suffice to say, I felt uncomfortable, embarrassed, found out, with my BBC 2 viewing detected so instantly.

Anyway, my fiancée and I finally located one of these machines in one of the nearby catalogue stores…which meant that once we had got it home, we needed to drive off out to one of the nearby catalogue stores to buy some batteries, amidst much muttering.

Still, once this thing was up and running, the fun we had around the house was fantastic. The brass fireplace was indeed metal, so was a 2p casually dropped on the carpet, then hunted down, with much squealing from both man and machine.

And then there was the garden of course. I expertly discovered the ley lines that relate to the drainage system. This should have been done privately.

However, we live in a quiet, semi-retired, semi-detached area, and my tracking the drainage caused the district net curtains to act as if there was a tornado approaching.

We rent the house we currently live in and our landlord is slow when it comes to getting things done, so, in a way, the metal detector really came into its own when I decided to phone our landlord. There’s a ladder on our roof that has been there all year and it’s been annoying me, so I thought I’d have him on toast. The phone call went like this.

“Hello, Bob, it’s Holmes here. I bought a metal detector today and discovered there’s a ladder on the roof. This could attract burglars, surely.”

There was such a pause at the other end of the line. I could hear confused steam coming from his ears as he got this mental image of my scaling the house with a metal detector.

The ladder is still there. All that’s changed is the landlord now seems incredibly wary of me when he collects the rent each month…

Now, where did I put the washing machine?

© Copyright Holmes Charnley mmiv. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Freelance Journalist based in Devon-UK. For more examples of my work, please visit http://www.articles.me.uk. The two most recent pieces have been published in The Guardian (UK broadsheet.) Pieces also accepted by Jack magazine.

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